My name is LazyPretty.

I am a teller of tales and a crafter of sigils.

I am trickster, bard, and sorcerer, all in one.

I am a seer,

and by extension,

a satirist.

And though you may not believe me when I tell you this,

I am definitely on your side.

What do I do here?

I tell stories

I was not merely traveling the cosmos for fun.

I mean, it was fun.

But I was not planeswalking, dimension-hopping, and disrupting the timeline just for fun.

I did all this to learn,

to discover,

to remember.

So now that I have gathered all this knowledge,

what am I to do with it?

Well, share it, of course.

But how?

I could certainly create a reference manual,

some grimoire abhorrent in the density of its paragraphs,

a tome single-spaced and anvil-heavy,

the kind of artifact most would find more useful as a doorstop

than as a font of wisdom.

But there are three things you should know about me.

1.) I am a creature of finesse

2.) I am, somehow, a pragmatist

3.) I believe in love

What does the constellation of this trifecta mean?

It means I have no interesting in lecturing you.

It means I would prefer to seduce you.

Every bookstore and every library is divided into two sections:

fiction

and non.

Strange, isn’t it, the way in which the one of the two that is allegedly imaginary is also the one of the two that sets the terms.

Fiction isn’t real.

And yet fiction exists.

This is a paradox,

and in this paradox,

there is power.

You think I’m jerking your chain.

No, my friend.

I’m merely trying to get that chain off of you.

So call my bluff.

I dare you.

Step into my portal and read what I have written for you.

Bathe yourself in my incantations,

and let me have my way with you.

But know this.

Once you let me into you,

you will never be the same again.

I craft pictures

It always starts with ink on paper,

black on white.

Then comes pigment,

whether organic, digital, or some combination of both.

Sometimes the work becomes tessellated:

sacrilegious geometry, if you will.

When it is finished, reproductions are made.

These, you can own.

You can wear them.

You can mount them on your wall.

Think of them as reminders,

or as gateways,

or simply as sensual delights.

May the joy I felt at their creation

become the joy you feel at your perception.

If you would like to discuss a commission,

or request a particular item not yet available in my store,

please contact me.

But know this.

All that I create is strange.

You have been warned.